The Beginning of the End

The judge granted weekend visitation to Ricky’s dad. We knew this was coming…it is the next step in the process of him going home. It is sad for us; it is the beginning of him leaving our family. We have been prepared to say goodbye at least twice and both times things changed and he stayed. Of course, his dad was not out of the picture, so the thought of adoption was slim. We in no way want to pressure his father to give him up, especially if he wants and is prepared to be a parent. Now, for some reason, it feels like he really is going home. Ricky stayed Monday because we had no school and he is back with his dad today. When we picked him up last weekend he was sad to leave his dad, the excitement of the weekend coming to an end. It is so hard to imagine what he goes through. He is straddling two different worlds, with two sets of expectations. From our past experience, this is a troublesome time. Weekend visits did not equate to the happiest times for us. They came with a bad attitude and rocky behavior at home and at school. I hope he knows how much we love him. I hope we can make this time easier for him; I’m just not sure how to do this. His next court date, December 7th, is the one that should reunite him with his dad. I just hope I don’t break into a million pieces. I miss him already and he isn’t even gone yet.